From Digital Validation to Real-World Connection: A Story of Transformation.
Redefining Ambition: From Chasing Achievements to Cultivating Joy and Community.
"What if everything I've built is about to fall apart?" That thought, sharper than a scalpel, crossed my mind as I signed the surgery consent forms. I had reached a point of real happiness, a life I was proud of. And now, I was about to risk it all voluntarily. Why? Perhaps, deep down, a part of me sensed that to build something more authentic, I first needed to let go, even if fear denied it.
Today, after almost two months of silence, I’m writing again. This time hasn't been empty, but a space of profound transformation that I want to reflect on with you.
The Starting Point: A Life Devoted to Doing
As I told you in my last post, last summer I began a journey of reconnecting with the present and my body. This journey involved important decisions, like leaving social media and making a firm commitment to living in my immediate surroundings. For years, my identity had been an almost total symbiosis with my profession: who I was merged with what I did. My talents, achievements, innovative ideas… they weren't just facets of my life; they were my life, consuming my energy and defining my worth. Well-being was measured in completed projects and the excitement of seeing ideas come to life in the digital universe. The computer was my portal to the world, the almost exclusive source of fulfillment. Spending hours in front of the screen gave me exceptional pleasure; the internet was the promise of "anything is possible."
But this fusion came at a price: my nomadic lifestyle became the perfect excuse to postpone self-care, especially my physical health. My body could always "wait."
The Unexpected Decision: An Act of Care and Courage
That new focus on the present led me, almost without realizing it, to take my physical well-being more seriously. So I decided to face a health issue I had always put off: taking deep care of my teeth. At the end of last year, I got started, not imagining that this first step would lead to facial surgery just a few days ago. An impressive procedure, cutting part of the bones in my face to facilitate a palate movement, which will be complemented by an appliance I'll wear for almost two years.
Honestly, I think it was better not to know all the details from the beginning. The scale of the surgery might have overwhelmed me. But here I am, after trusting a clinic that conveyed professionalism and security.
The Awakening: Vulnerability, Fears, and a Transformative Clarity
The question lingered in my head: is it so crucial to have a perfect mouth as to undergo surgery with general anesthesia? I felt fear, the sensation of risking a happy present for a hypothetical future improvement. However, this fear was mixed with deep satisfaction: I was finally dedicating time and resources to myself as a person, instead of investing them, as almost always, in my projects. Economically, the effort is comparable to some business ventures I've made, and in fact, it has forced me to pause new business ideas (like expanding the coworking space in Valencia with a café).
The need for control, tested by the total anesthesia, vanished to make way for new energy. I realized that the surgery had touched very deep fears and hopes. Curiously, a few days before, I had been assaulted for the first time by intrusive, negative thoughts, a self-sabotage mechanism whispering: "Now that you're well, you decide to have surgery and risk everything going wrong?" It was the echo of a fear of fatalism, of losing that well-being that had cost me so much to build after overcoming a midlife crisis, largely triggered by the loss of my father.
The Transformation: Rebuilding From Within with New Priorities
Recovery forced me to a radical halt. In that stillness, I had the opportunity to review actions and thoughts from recent years. It was like validating something I had been sensing for a while: that my talent, what I once felt was my destiny, was actually a powerful tool at my service. Instead of my profession guiding my life, I began to do the opposite: first, I decide how I want to live, what I truly desire, and then, I adapt my work to serve that vision.
This revelation has changed my relationship with work. I no longer feel that addictive pleasure of spending hours and hours in front of the computer. The screen is no longer that magical portal to infinite possibilities. I simply don't feel like it in the same way.
This new approach materializes in the coworking space we have in Valencia, born from that need to build what truly makes me happy. And perhaps that's why I now want to expand it, to activate new spaces with activities always connected to the collective and sharing. A crucial element this year has been my growing interest in "gastronomy." The coworking launch was with a handmade pasta workshop, and I myself taught one on how to make pizza. Gathering around the table is incredibly powerful. That's why we have a very large table designed for cooking workshops: Limoncello, risotto, tiramisu... and we're already planning gnocchi, lasagna, and more, connecting with my Italian origins. We're even thinking about experiences like blindfolded dinners among strangers, reminiscent of my "Algomas Arte Rivoluzionario" days.
Moving Forward on the New Path: Embracing Imperfection and Weaving Networks
This process has also brought new awareness. Curiously, as I started taking better care of my body, hints of hypochondria have emerged; I admit I'm more afraid of getting sick. Added to this, this year I've started going to the gym, calmly but consistently, something also possible thanks to the conscious decision to reduce my work trips.
The certainty of how good it feels not to be dependent on social media and its dopamine is growing stronger. I feel it helps me have a different daily balance. One of the conquests of this present has been to explicitly ask myself what makes me happy, what I genuinely enjoy in the moment without future projections. A clear answer was: dancing, especially electronic music. And I've done a lot of it these months. When I ask some friends this question, I'm surprised to see they don't always know what to answer.
Recent external events, like the floods in Valencia or the major blackout, have also reinforced the importance of real connection with my close circle. This process of change, where the present and quality of life become central, activates a deep desire to create a "family" relationship space, a circle of very dear people nearby. This longing to build a "chosen family" becomes even more valuable when, as in my case, your family of origin lives in another country. It's a way of putting down emotional roots, of consciously weaving a network of security and joy.
The True Letting Go: A Symbol of Profound Reconstruction
Let's go back to that initial fear: "What if everything I've built is about to fall apart?"
In a way, it did. But not in the catastrophic way I had imagined.
The surgery, this personal risk I took for deeper, long-term well-being, became the clearest symbol of this transformation. It wasn't an endpoint, but a conscious choice to prioritize my vital balance over any external expectation.
What fell apart was the old, rigid definition of who I was. The idea that my worth depended on what I produced, and the notion that my profession should be the sun around which my life revolved, crumbled.
In its place, something new is being woven. Something where my talent serves my health, my happiness, and a more authentic purpose.
The most powerful conclusion has been this: When your profession stops governing your identity and starts serving your well-being, work transforms into an incredible tool for personal and community fulfillment.
This journey hasn't been about losing what I had built, but about rebuilding it on a truer, stronger foundation that gives much more life.
Thanks for joining me on this path. Does any of this resonate with your own experiences? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
P.S. If you're going through similar changes, asking yourself these kinds of questions, or just want to share your perspective, my digital door is always open. Let's keep these important conversations alive.
Summary of Key Messages:
This article shares a personal journey of transformation, catalyzed by a significant health decision. The key takeaways include:
Shifting Identity: Moving from an identity defined by professional achievements and digital validation to one centered on personal well-being, present happiness, and authentic connections.
Redefining Work and Talent: Understanding talent as a tool to serve the life you desire, rather than letting your profession dictate your life. Work can become a source of personal and communal fulfillment when aligned with well-being.
The Power of Vulnerability: Embracing vulnerability as a strength, allowing oneself to receive care, and finding clarity in moments of enforced stillness.
Prioritizing the Real: A conscious choice for tangible experiences, close relationships, and quality of life over digital metrics and external pressures.
Embracing the Present: The importance of identifying and cultivating activities that bring genuine joy in the moment, independent of future outcomes.
Building Chosen Family: Recognizing the need for a strong support network and actively building a "chosen family," especially when geographically distant from family of origin.
"Letting Go to Rebuild": The understanding that sometimes, old structures and self-definitions must crumble to make way for a more authentic and fulfilling life.